Loving (and Leaving) India

My heart and mind have been ruminating on this post for a while. In fact, I've had the body of it written since April -- almost 3 months before I left India. I started writing it at a time in India when things clicked... when I realized that, despite some hard things, many frustrating things, lots of sweat, and general confusion, I loved India. I wouldn't say that before that time I didn't love India... I just hadn't experienced that un-doing, heart-produced compassion for India that I'd been longing for.

I got busy with my visiting brother and saying goodbye and before I knew it was busy back here in the states. But the last three weeks the services at church have been reinforcing the lessons learned and "ah ha!" moments I experienced towards the end of my India time that led me to leave in love. I thought it was worth revisiting and sharing with you as a type of wrap-up on my time there.

"One of the most important things the Holy Spirit prompted me to do as I came to India was to read through His Word – in it’s entirety – while I am here. I’ve been obedient in that; it’s been one of my biggest sources of blessing, comfort, and strength.

Using D.A. Carson’s For the Love of God as a guide and built in thought provoker, I’ve learned much – and been reminded of much – simply by tracing God’s sovereign plan. But one thing has particularly stood out; namely, God is holy, and the only, God. Put another way, my awe for God – His worthiness as the only and most holy God, worthy to be worshipped – has increased.

As this has happened my awareness of the profound weight of the gospel of grace in my life has deepened. My recognition of my need of God’s mercy has grown as my absolute astonishment of His sheer greatness has grown.

And this has freed me to love India.

To be heartbroken at poverty and abuse because it demonstrates injustice and sin, both contrary to God’s nature. To be enchanted by the unique beauty of the people and the culture, because it displays God’s creativity and image. To desire to worship God boldly and confidently, encouraging others to do the same, because he is worthy. To earnestly proclaim and defend God as the only true God, while weeping at the rampant and bonding creation and service of idols. To love self-sacrificially, even when it’s not received, because He did.

My growing understanding of His holiness is so freeing. My hatred of sin displayed here and my broken heart and care are not feelings setting me apart or above from everyone else. Freedom comes in the compassion I have in light of my own comparable state. I’m more concerned that the gospel should be joyfully and freely offered… because that display of God’s merciful, faithful, redemptive work in view of His holiness and our sin is ultimately glorifying. And this is all freeing and produces love for India because my growing understanding of his holiness is increasing my awareness of my own sin, God’s right wrath and fearsomeness conjoined with his sweet mercy and loving grace. I want that for India, for His namesake.

As I’ve thought about this, I’ve realized that I probably haven’t loved America rightly. It’s comfortable and known so I like it. But now I want to love it like God’s taught me to love India. How, in fact, God loves the whole world.

I’ve left India and returned to America worshiping God for His holiness. I’m deeply grateful for my time in India, namely that the experience led to these reminders and awakenings in my heart toward loving God rightly and, in turn, loving people – even nations."

”For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever should believe in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.”